As a young girl, I was untamed, wild and free. Growing up in Alaska, I was always more comfortable and at home in the woods and mountains than I was in the city. You simply couldn’t take the wild woman out of me. I’d lift my dress up, squat, and pee on the trees in malls, I’d strip off my clothes and roll happily in the rain water that had collected in the ditch, I’d swing from trees, howl at the top of my lungs, and make potions in the woods from mud, mushed berries, twigs, and pine needles. And I was endlessly creative, always writing poetry, sketching, and escaping to imaginary worlds I had dreamed up in my mind.
When I started my business I could feel this unbridled creativity, unquenchable passion, and a deep desire to express my truth without reservation. And Life responded with a steady flow of clients, opportunities for connection and collaboration, and an inner sense of freedom and fulfillment that I’d never experienced before.
But somewhere along the way, I lost myself in all of the complex business strategies, the overwhelming lists of to-do’s and the incessant shoulding, striving, pushing and forcing my way to success. The more I tried to figure it all out from my head, the more I tried to strategize my way to success, the more I tried to get it all right and do it all the way I thought I “should” be doing it, the more the creative aliveness, unbridled joy, and passion that started it all dried up in my business.