Feeling like a fraud? Why it's time to stop waiting on perfect to live your calling.
I remember when I was first beginning my healing business back in 2012, and I mentioned to my acupuncturist and mentor that I felt like a fraud starting my own business because I still didn’t have all of my own health issues figured out. Her reply was that I’d come so far in my own healing journey and had so much wisdom to share, that perhaps stepping into my role as a leader was the very next piece that was critical to my own personal healing.
She couldn’t have been more right. When we resist the call to step into the next phase of our soul’s evolution, we often experience a heightened inner experience of anxiety, dis-ease, symptom, and unwanted behavior. It’s in these moments that we must listen to the call and dive two feet in to the work where our soul’s journey meets our soul’s calling.
I once heard Hiro Boga, say, “There is a stage at which the work becomes your teacher. The work helps you grow into the person who can do the work and the work helps you grow into the person who can evolve with the evolving work.” In a world in which we are often told we need to be “there” before we can step into the role of teacher, leader, and healer, I found this to be such a beautiful distinction.
If it is your soul’s calling, you will likely always be in a stage of becoming. You don’t need to be perfect, healed, or have it all figured out before you can show up in service to others. In life, we experience periods of contraction and expansion, and it’s ok to be in your own process of personal transformation while holding the space for others to be on their own healing journeys.
The idea that we need to embody everything we are called to teach first, doesn’t honor the truth that our work will always be evolving as we evolve with it.
We fall into the trap of believing:
- “I’m not good enough.”
- “I don’t know enough.”
- “I’m a fraud.”
- “I just need to learn more.”
And from this place we become paralyzed and frozen. Unable to catalyze the inner transformation and outer success that we desire.
It’s ok to let your work be your teacher. To still be in the process of becoming even as you hold space for the becomingness of others.
As you learn to hold space for these vulnerable, scared, and shamed parts of yourself, you become a master at holding space for others. You are right where you need to be to contribute in a meaningful way and to bring your gifts to the table in service of others.
And if there is a lingering experience of being out of integrity with your work, check in. You can use the following questions to explore this feeling of dissonance:
Are you holding yourself to impossible standards?
Are you appreciating the fullness of your own journey?
- Are you doing your best, speaking your truth, and honoring your word to yourself and others?
- Is there a way you can adjust your messaging and offerings be more in alignment with your authentic experience and truth?
- Is there a way in which you are being called to evolve personally to be the woman you sense is within?
If there is a lack of alignment, empower yourself to address the cognitive dissonance that is present in a loving and kind way.
It’s ok to not have it all figured out. It’s ok to start where you are. In doing so you’ll show up with more humility, more openness, more vulnerability and authenticity for the ones who are waiting for your light.